HIBACHI

gilbert loves slappin them balls - lebron's face looks like he's getting raped

if you're a basketball fan of any sort, or at least play pick up ball in the gym you've no doubt heard "hibachi". the word, originally referring to a japanese heating device, is what gilbert arenas now shouts when he shoots. you've heard "money", "water", or even "sauce" (which is what and1's hot sauce explains is the origin of his nickname), but now it's "hibachi". wikipedia explains it like this:

Gilbert Arenas makes "hibachi" a neologism

During the 2006-2007 National Basketball Association season, Washington Wizards point guard Gilbert Arenas began to shout the word as he took field goal attempts in games, explaining, "You know, a hibachi grill gets real hot. That's what my shot's like, so I've been calling it that: 'Welcome to the hibachi'." He has also stated that while he is scoring on opponents, he is "cooking chicken and shrimp" in reference to his "Hibachi grill," and that if his opponent wanted to double team him, he would "cook filet mignon" as well. "The Hibachi" has quickly become Arenas' nickname.

There was even a banner made for him "Arenas 'hibachied' Kobe". As Kobe is the place where the world famous Kobe steak orginated. This was referring to the game when Arenas outscored Kobe Bryant 60 to 45.

The term "Hibachi" is now catching on to describe players who are "hot".

-----

freshmen and black kids at the gym yell this out when they shoot because they think it's fashionable, when in fact it sounds just as good as "fo shizzle my bizzle dizzle fagizzle." the "izzle" revolution was called off by snoop himself as a new york times article quotes:

"is it here to stay? Maybe in hip-hop, but nowhere else if snoop has anything to do with it. though you can still go to asksnoop.com [no longer up] and put any URL through the Shizzolator to have it instantly translated into the rizzle dizzle (real deal). snoop himself has had enough. he recently told ryan j. downey of MTV news: 'the message is L.I.G.: let it go, ok, america? let it go. you can't say 'izzle' no more. tizzle, fizzle, dizzle - none of that. it's over with...let's find something new. maybe pig latin, anything.'"

gilbert probably won't call and end to hibachi, because as stupid as it sounds, he's cocky enough to keep it in circulation. cockiness is gilbert's character, but it's mostly because he can back up his shittalking, kind of like chad johnson (but not like TO). in one recent practice, gilbert bet deshawn stevenson (no doubt a five-figure bet; michael jordan and rip hamilton would have $10k shooting contests regularly after practice) that he could make more shots from the college 3 point line with ONE HAND than stevenson could from the NBA 3 point line - and won:


brendan haywood: "68 shots out of 90, you got ten more shots"
gilbert: "i don't need em. do you think he's gonna make 70 three pointers?"

gilbert is even so cocky that after he realized he lost to JASON KAPONO in the 3-point contest he started taking one handed threes:


the pistons are 2-2 against the wizards this season with no more games to go, and the wiz are as of feb 26 tied in second place with the cavs trailing 4.5 games behind us. we've got a good chance to see them in the playoffs, but as all offensive-minded teams do in the playoffs, they'll sputter and die to a team with superior defense.

watch this movie, it could be the funniest movie i've ever seen:

had a bad day? who's saying hibachi now, dipshit?

in case you missed the barkley/bavetta showdown:


and more random ill, sick, twisted, etc. nba shit:

youtube madness

let's start off with some action, and a guy getting kicked in the face:


can you imagine swallowing your tongue and having it choke you?????

now, for some childhood memories that always bring back those warm and fuzzy feelings of not having to have any responsibility:


did you know that keno (ernie reyes jr.) is filipino? fuck yeah, because we'll kick your ass


this movie is tripped out on acid, but you know you thought jessica rabbit was the hottest girl alive, animated and otherwise


"gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, i'll tell you all about it when i got the time"


multilanguage remix


the cantonese jackie chan version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctjv-SHYMK0


i need a girl worth fighting for


"Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a prickly pear
And you prick a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue?"


i'm not gonna lie, i thought ariel was hot when i was six years old

yeah, i'll admit it, i know the words to these songs by heart and have most disney songs on my itunes. but if you think it's gay to have grown up with disney movies you probably were beaten, molested, and fed shit by your parents as a kid.

did i mention that my favorite color is red?

the problem with canucksville

i type "poker" into image search and this is the first thing that comes up. no doubt this chick has no fucking clue what poker is.



last night we went to canada to hit up casino windsor. i've only played at a casino once; i went frosh year to soaring eagle and won about $150 in blackjack, so i've had only good experiences. the next step was to play poker at a real table and see how i'd fare with "high rollers" - meaning more than just a paltry $5-$10 buy-ins. we played at the $1-$2 blind no limit tables with a maximum buy-in of $100, so these guys were far from real high rollers (but they were regular players enough to throw $100 bills in canadian on the table whenever they went broke), but i've wanted to play against serious competition, people with full-time jobs and real money to bet with. i brought $200 with me but only started off with $60 in chips. the guys at the table obviously knew i was new to playing at tables and thankfully they showed me how the tables work with breaking change, etc.


yeah i'm a rook, but that only works in your favor

the table i was at seemed like a prototypical one you'd see on tv: there was the one talkative guy with the hood on, a couple of semi-talkative guys, one quiet old dude who played old school (all throughout the night he put down $90 bets at a 1-2 table), one middle aged woman, a couple of other regular guys, and then me, who was basically bodog's "the underdog", a rookie newcomer. it seemed like everyone at the table knew everyone else. it wasn't just the fact that they had been playing the entire day, which i could pick up based on their conversations, but it seemed like they were all regulars to the poker room. everyone knew everyone else, the dealers, the waitresses, even the security staff.

these guys used the terminology that you learn from watching hours of WPT and those other derivative rip-off shows like that shit on the travel channel. "nut flush, gutshot, playing in and out of position, buying the button, chopping, limping in." i know what some of these mean but for others i don't fully understand the concepts. but i know how to play the game, and when to do what, and in my view knowing terminology doesn't mean shit, it just means you can have a gay conversation with your neighbor about what you did to sound smart. it might give you a slight edge in strategy, but ultimately it's about having common sense.

in rounders, matt damon explains the way a real shark is supposed to play: you sit back, and wait. wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and wait more until you get the monster hand. this is basically my style, because (i hope i'm not giving away my strategy, but it's basically common sense) i hate to bluff with big money and have absolutely nothing when the cards turn over. in about 2 1/2 hours i only played about 15 or so hands and won maybe four or five. for those poker players, i'll list my winnings for your technical pleasure. i was VERY lucky early in the game when the guy i was all in against flopped trip 7s vs. my pocket kings and i pulled a king on the river. in retrospect i really should've tipped the dealer, but i was both too shocked by my luck and also was too new to tables to remember that you're supposed to tip them, especially when you pull lucky shit like that. i got pocket kings again in the night and pushed everyone out of the pot by betting, and i won another big all-in hand with queen ten suited in hearts (with a pair of queens, then rivered a flush but i already had won anyway) when a guy tried to bluff his way out with ace king and nothing on the board. other than that i don't remember winning, just sitting back and waiting for draws that never came.

at one point i was up $49 and i just wanted to round out to $50, but i kept playing until i was up only $30. at that point i had already been playing for awhile and both my body and mind were getting pretty fatigued, so i decided to walk away with my cash.

now, $30 sounds like a decent takeaway from a poker table, especially if it's your first time. the problem is though, that you're in canada. i remember many times in past years (though never anymore) billboards in downtown detroit would say "come to casino windsor, where your money is worth more." well, yeah, but when you're returning your money to the cashier to convert it back to USD, your money is worth LESS. i knew this coming into the casino but i still was honestly disappointed when i gave them the $90 canadian i had and only had a return of $77.50 USD. according to XE.com, a currency conversion site, the current rate is 1 USD to 1.16 canadian. you get shortshafted bigtime. not to mention i gave $5 to mirasol for gas and $10 to zeke for dimsum earlier that day, so i was left with an insubstantial amount of $2.50 for my efforts, which i spent on taco bell on the way back.

in the end, i guess it's ok because i came out on top and got a couple of free meals out of it, so i'm not discontent. but it sucks to have the inevitable disappointment hit you when you know the money you have is going to be worth less. i might hit up the casino again in the near future, and the next time i visit my cousins in vegas i'm definitely hitting those tables up, so let me know if you wanna head up.


guys like this used to be starving artists until the 2003-4 texas hold-em poker revolution, also known as the "cockhead fakeass poker shark wannabe revolution"

free shit

my 21st birthday is just over two weeks away. in all honesty, i can't say i'm overly excited about it like most people usually are. the perks aren't like they're so overwhelmingly ridiculously great that i'm shitting my pants about it. i've already drank myself out in the first semester and i don't like the idea of paying $3-5 a shot at bars. i'd rather throw that money down at a poker table (see above post) and at least try making more money instead of wasting it on the half-water, half-liquor drinks you get for your hard earned money. yeah you might lose money, but the point is is that it's a game and you have fun playing, even if you lose (as long as you know when to stop). it's entertainment, just like paying to go see a movie or go to an arcade or something, except that you have a chance to get your money back. simply put, i'd rather play than be played.

i don't think i've drank once this semester after our apartment hosted ridiculous parties it seemed like every other week the last, and even though i'll probably (i've already picked up a work shift on my birthday and didn't drop the ones i already had, so that should show you the degree of apathy i hold for drinking now) drink on my 21st, i don't even know if i'll go out to a bar. you can call me lame, but i don't find it very appealing to walk out in 30 degree weather through snowy, icy streets in dress clothes (and there's no way i'm paying for a taxi) to a bar only to pay large amounts for watered down drinks that i could just have at my apartment anyway. it's not like drinking is a new concept either, so i'm not exactly jumping for joy that i can go walk somewhere to pay someone to put beer in a glass for me or to pour me a shot (not to mention you have to tip them too). maybe if i was an amish quaker supercatholic ultraabstinent who thought i would go to hell if i drank before 21, then maybe, just MAYBE would i be excited about being able to go to bars. the only thing i'm not even excited about but rather looking forward to are $2 pitchers at skeepers or wherever the hell they have em at. but right now drinking is too much of a chore and i don't have time to fuck around with school anymore.

in any case, because it's spring break and i'm looking for stuff to do besides sleep, workout, and play videogames, i decided to read the "e-TrueBlue: Ann Arbor Campus" email that comes around every so often. i never read this emails but have been to lazy to remove myself from the email list. it turned out that this time it came in handy. the "did you know?" section listed free shit you can get for your birthday in ann arbor. i'm not gonna lie, i'm probably not going to any of these places because my birthday is on a weekday, but here's the list for your future reference:

>> Did You Know?

Everyone deserves special treatment on his/her birthday. Although you might not be able to sweet talk your way out of that annoying exam, here's some free stuff you can score at popular Ann Arbor businesses. Check out the list below and take advantage of the bonuses (offers are subject to change at any time).

• Zingerman's—half-dozen free bagels
• Grizzly Peak Brewing Company—free dessert, free logo pint glass, and a $10 gift certificate for your next visit
• Main Street Ventures Restaurants (includes Gratzi, Palio, Real Seafood Co.)—receive 50 percent off your bill if two people are dining, 33 percent off if three people are dining, 25 percent off for four people, and so on (discount applies to only the food portion of the bill)
• Cottage Inn restaurant—free meal
• Good Time Charley's—free meal
• Stucchi's—free ice cream
• Hollywood Video—free movie rental
• Baskin Robbins—free ice cream
• Applebee's—free chocolate sundae
• TGI Friday's—free birthday dessert
• The Olive Garden—free cake and serenade by wait staff
• Red Lobster—free cake and serenade by wait staff
• Arbor Brewing Company—free sampler platter of all house beers currently on tap

deep sleep

i just took a nap and dreamt that it took me five hours to rob a bank. i nearly got away with it.

at first it was like i was watching a movie as i saw the events unfold. some inside man helped two other guys get into the bank. as they ran up the stairs to look for the safe i turned into one of them; i suddenly became the guy with a sniper rifle.

the really weird part was that i knew it was a dream, but at the same time i didn't. for some reason i had to walk across multiple ledges on the outside of the bank and crawl through windows, etc. like a Prince of Persia game. and it was strange because i kept thinking, "if i die here, will i die in real life? i probably will, so i better be careful." the same thought kept perpetuating through my mind, so i walked VERY slowly across the ledges. the beginning of the robbery started off with me at the top floor which was like 50 floors up for some reason (giving me really bad vertigo) and kept on getting lower and lower until i got inside the big safe on the first floor.

one of the other guys got caught, and one of the other ones was running towards the safe, but there were cops (more like government agents) running after him. so i shut the safe's door before he could get to me, leaving him stranded outside, but me inside. some voice out of nowhere started talking, like it was a narrator of a story. i don't remember what he said, but it was something along the lines of explaining the lesson learned from robbing a bank. at that point i tried locking myself in the smaller safe to get away from the cops who had the key to open the big safe. i tried shooting one in the head but it had no effect, and that "oh shit" feeling is probably what woke me up.

this isn't the strangest dream i've had, but only of a few where i was aware it was a dream.

loss of faith

"i am more and more convinced that Man is a dangerous creature, and that power whether vested in many or a few is ever grasping, and like the grave cries give, give. the great fish swallow up the small, and he who is most strenuous for the Rights of the people, when vested with power, is as eager after the perogatives of Government. You tell me of degrees of perfection to which Humane Nature is capable of arriving, and i believe it, but at the same time lament that our admiration should arise from the scarcity of the instances."
- Abigail Adams to her husband John Adams (second president of the United States), November 27, 1775, The Building Up a Great Empire

every single day i lose a little faith in humanity. every single day i see too many instances of luxuria, gula, avaritia, acedia, ira, invidia, and superbia. simply put, the seven "deadly" sins. on top of that i see too much stupidity, distrust, separation, hate, ignorance, etc. etc. etc.; too many other things to count or process. this world is an awful place to live in, and i do not envy those born into this world at this time. we are a consumerist planet full of get-rich-quick schemes, cutthroat competition, and longing desires of wealth. we're destroying our earth in order to feed our ingratifiatble desires in an impossible attempt to satisfy our need for instant gratification. the concept of the blue-collared attitude, hardworking, unselfish, benevolent, charitable, noble, and chivalrous character has turned into an abstract, and such people who quietly carry their humility are left in the background as the assholes who step over those people star in the forefront. what's the point of being a nice guy if you'll only finish behind someone who'll stab you in the back to get ahead? why should one make sacrifices for others if it only serves to drag them down in the end? what motivation is there for someone to work hard, bust their ass, and cover for other peoples' bullshit if it all goes without recognition? why should one trust if they know that the chances are affirmatively negative that the feeling will be mutual? why should one love if they know ultimately, like all good things, it will have to come to a crashing end. why should one care, when they know the rest of the world doesn't? why should one live a virtuous life if in the end, all they're left with is a small piece of rock as a tombstone and a history that will never remember them?

because it's the right thing to do?

bullshit.

232 years later and we're still the same; human nature doesn't change. if it does, it only gets worse. i hate thinking like this, but it's hard not to when you so often witness so much evidence of it.

streamlining efficiency

you've more than likely noticed that the page takes mucho, mucho, MUCHO menos tiempo de cargar. i've set it so that only the last 20 posts show up instead of the entire fucking page (a grand total so far of 161 posts, 162 if you include this one - it does NOT seem like that many), which oftentimes freezes my computer (or significantly slows it down to the point of near-freezing), and i've heard that it freezes other peoples' as well. so i've fixed it. hoofuckinray! the only drawback to this is that if you're looking for a particular post you'll have to search month by month to find it. but whatever, you're all patient people, right?

holy KAHUNAS

need a break from midterms?

Jesus, FSU, can we call you "breast implant capitol of the world"? This is something i randomly ran into a second ago. honest, it was accidental. i'm dead serious. seriously.

from Wikipedia:
Jennifer "Jenn" Lynette Sterger (born November 29, 1983 in Miami, Florida) is a Florida State University student and online columnist for Sports Illustrated. Sterger rose to fame after she was shown on national television during the 2005 Florida State–Miami football game. On seeing the shot, announcer Brent Musburger commented that "15,000 young red-blooded American men just signed up to go to Florida State next semester." She is one of the FSU Cowgirls who are known for their sartorial combinations of minimalist tops, short shorts, and cowboy hats. Due to the key role that Facebook played in her success, Sterger has been nicknamed the "Facebook Princess". She has since posed in both Maxim and Playboy magazines.

"$11,000 breast implants i paid for myself...and empowered myself to get...was the best decision i ever made...i got these myself, my daddy wasn't going to pay for them..."



Now, is "facebook princess" really a title you want to have when you know that thousands of nasty college guys are beating off to you? SICK.

good for you

yeah, i've been busy, so get off me. i have a paper to finish for tomorrow but i'm going to warm up (for an hour and a half apparently, because the last post took 45 minutes to write and this one will probably take just as long if not longer) by writing a couple of posts and reviving this a little.

the msu spartans just upset #2 wisconsin in basketball, a win they desperately needed. since the pistons were destroying the bucks, and since state's game was close, i decided to tune in until the end. after drew neitzel hit two incredibly LUCKY shots the spartans pulled ahead and basically clinched the game with clutch free throws and wisconsin airballs. a big congrats to state, but they undoubtedly now think they're hot shit with a guaranteed berth to the final four. in typical sparty overconfident and cocky style, they'll talk shit to us even though our basketball team is worthless (i mean, cmon now, our basketball captain was arrested for an outstanding warrant) and the fact remains that they're still a bubble team. they still have to face the fuckeyes and us at crisler, and you never know what'll happen at our house because similar worthless michigan teams have beaten state (SEE "72-67" from last january). spartans, despite their seemingly impressive 20-8 record, seem to forget about the two spankings (and on top of that, big ten asswhuppings) of the 51-73 game against indiana on january 7, and the disastrous 12 point second-half performance with their 38-62 dropping-the-soap-and-bending-over-to-pick-it-up-in-a-maximum-confinement-prison debacle on february 7 (seven is clearly NOT a lucky number for them). remember, we got lucky and somehow beat indiana, so upsetting state, particularly in our arena, is not unrealistic. even if they beat us and talk shit, we can simply counter that OUR BASKETBALL TEAM SUCKS so there's nothing to brag about. beating michigan in basketball is like a pro athlete winning a medal at the special olympics.

one thing i find funny about state is their shifting from a final four championship program to one currently with a lack of prestige. where is there evidence for this? not only is msu unranked, but their fans rushed the court after the beat wisconsin. sure, an upset is an upset, but did you see unranked michigan rushing the field and tearing down the goalposts after we upset then #5 ranked, big ten leader, and undefeated penn state in football? no, because we know we have the highest level of prestige and no one even thought to rush the field because we know we're just that good.

my point of this article is not to compare athletics, in which michigan is already historically and currently superior anyway, but rather to make an analagous critique of michigan state with the following edited Apple ads (i'm not an expert ok, give me an effing break):







we own DARTH VADER for shit's sake!

michigan is well, better at, y'know, life stuff. we don't charge $5 for cups at parties and our mary jane is much better. we have the hash bash (and the art fair) for goodness sake! not only our are athletics superior to state, but our academics go far, far beyond. don't even try to shit me on this, i know people who transferred from state and told me the academic difference in significantly different. if you're talking about the overall programs compared side by side, there's a reason why Wikipedia quotes: "According to the 2007 edition of the US News and World Report, nearly 90% of incoming students graduated in the top 10% of their high school class. 28% of the university's incoming class of 2006 earned a high school GPA of 4.0, while 89% earned a GPA of 3.9 or higher. The middle 50% (THE MIDDLE!) of applicants report an SAT score of about 1900-2160, and an ACT score of 27-32. AP credit was granted to over 3000 freshmen", and there's a reason why all the people who get rejected by michigan go to state (ok, you're second best, i'll give ya that). "if you can't go to college go to state, bla bla if you really really suck go to state bla bla i forget the rest."

i normally respect people from state, but now i refuse to give respects, props, whatever to a college whose students talk incredible wack shit and make up for their inadequacies by insulting wolverines and bragging about stupid fucking shit. yeah you can put up your "mgoblow" bumper sticker and say that michigan's girls are ugly, but chances are very likely that these women will wind up being your bosses in the future and so the only chance you have of advancing is by brown nosing them and possibly having to have sex with them to get ahead. how does that feel? these girls will also be ordering delivery pizzas from you in the future, so be nice to them and they may just leave you a 10% tip, even though you're an hour late per usual. you can insult us by saying we're a school of nerds, geeks, and the like, but not only are we a better athletic school in general than state, the nerds, geeks, etc. turn out to be world leaders. there's a reason why the words have been ameliorated through recent years as people desire to become more like bill gates instead of o'doyle from billy madison.

yes, i have good friends at state, and no doubt they are making advances in science and otherwise that may someday change the world. but i refuse to give respect to a school who refuses to give respect to US, who are not only a superior institution in many respects (why do you think neutral kids, and even those in state families desire to go to UM throughout their maturity?), but even if we were of equal or lower standing than state, they still wouldn't give us respect. that's just the character of their student body. maybe they're jealous, but i see them collectively as angry emo'd teenager of the youtube/myspace generation, who think the entirety of the world is gay and none of it is their fault.

maybe i'm being too harsh, and i think much of the anger will settle after my adrenaline rush (which is why english majors can crank out papers the night before they're due, such as what i have to do after i'm done with this post) wears off. but i'll still hold the basic sentiments that people from michigan state IN GENERAL (so not everybody, but mostbodies), because they have this innate sense of inferiority to the university of michigan, have a rebellious, bullied, and overall apprehensive angry attitude towards michigan, and when they have some triumph, no matter how trivial, they LOUDLY let wolverines know about it. anytime, which is mosttimes, we can brag about things and choose to (which we normally don't because we're generally humble due to our being accustomed to being better than state), they simply reply that michigan's girls are ugly or that we're geeks. get over it. the day i respect state is the day they respect us, and i don't think that will change anytime in the near future.

from the 2004-05 "top ten reasons why state sucks" tshirt (current editions widely available at pro-michigan stores and ann arbor street vendors everywhere):
10. sparty looks like a felon
9. to get a state grad off your porch, pay him for the pizza
8. alumni phrase: "will you have fries with that?"
7. team sucks more than rutgers (keep in mind this was two years ago, when rutgers wasn't good)
6. east lansing smells like fertilizer
5. sheep training/research center on campus
4. undergrad course: advanced couch burning and other moronic behavior
3. cowtipping is favorite student pastime
2. kindergarten is the only prerequisite
1. state cheerleaders and football players both suck for 4 quarters

nuff said


this wasn't supposed to be about athletics, but here's braylon anyway

now, to start my paper

damn jappy

"ahahahahahahahahahhahaha. its like she's fucking five!"

working at a cafeteria exposes you to the worst of mankind's disastrous effects: incredible slopiness, ridiculous laziness, an extreme amount of stupidity and lack of commonsensicalness, heavy amounts of fobness, and especially at stockwell cafeteria, a radioactively dangerous exposure to J.A.P.s. no doubt you've heard this term before, which is acronymized for "Jewish American Princess(es)". They are largely known to be from tri-state new yohk/new joisey/long island and their epicenter in michigan just happens to be in my hometown of farmington hills (accompanied by adjacent west bloomfield) and my alma mater high school north farmington. i've grown up around these girls since sixth grade, and it's incredible to see that their numbers have only increased in my transition to college. in my english 305 "intro to modern linguistics" class, we were given an assignment to list down UM slang and brent presented "J.A.P" to the class, roughly defined as (with my extras definitions thrown in):

n. Acronym for "Jewish American Princess". Known to wear sunglasses regardless of the level of brightness, wear Uggs (aka FUGGS) boots, anything North Face, uses a pink motorola RAZR, constantly calls daddy for money for insignificant things, says "like" countless and innumerable times in common speech, has an entourage of only other sorority sisters, fellow JAPs, and male members of similar stature/likeness/countenance and of frattastic nature, drives a beemer, mercedes, or gas-guzzling, environment killing SUV such as the hummer h3, chooses to be vegetarian for all the wrong reasons (because they feel bad for the cute, cuddly animals after they buy coats made fresh off the backs of innocent baby foxes) and doesn't know what a vegetarian really is, most likely bullemic

can also be used in adjectival and adverbial form, e.g. "That's such a jappy outfit!"

----> more descriptions from UrbanDictionary.com:
- Receives joy from making unpopular students feel like shit.
- Owns an iPod (a CD player or different MP3 player is unacceptable)
- Has a MySpace, where she posts ridiculous pictures of her trying to look attractive by puckering her lips and opening her eyes as wide as possible.
- Is addicted to gossiping.
- Wears so much eye-shadow you'd think she's a whore (and most are)
- Refers to everything they like as "cute".
-Laughs at everything (with an ear-piercing cackle that can kill thousands of squirrels).
-Can be hot, but they are WAY too annoying either way.

When the class was asked if they knew what this term meant, all 30such heads simultaneously and instantaneously nodded in approval.

------


anyways, at the Stock today one JAP said to another,
"guess wot, i like found like three staples in my sock tahday."
"o, rly?" (of course, with an extremely upward inflection)
"ya, and they've been like in my shoe like all day!"
"what kind of staples were they?"

what kind of staples? swingline standard regular point full-strip staples, 1/4", model no. s.f.-1 of course! what the fuck kind of staples do you think? who the hell asks something like that? when i heard this my emotions simultaneously resembled a volcano of laughter and an earthquake of violent anger. so i walked away before anything happened.

my question is, how in God's green, blue, and brown fucking earth did this girl get staples in her SOCK? obviously she must've managed to let a stapler slip in with her laundry. even more of a question is why she kept them in her shoe all day and didn't think about taking them out... but i've been living with these people for most of my formative life, so such things no longer surprise me.



"i need a drink."