hell week

The next few weekends are going to be study-heavy, stress-loaded, and fun-free. The studying for finals begins this weekend with a crash course in bio along with a look at my other subjects. I have exams on the 11th (bio), 13th (classic civ), 18th (asian-am history), and a project due on the 11th (damn asian-am history again). But that week, nor the weeks leading to it are hell weeks. Hell week is after.

I really, REALLY need to pay my bike off. If I have any hope whatsoever of getting a tattoo in ample time for it to heal before spring break, I have to get it paid off by at least mid-January. I still owe about 1800ish, with two regular paychecks to go and exam week, which hopefully will be a monster for me. Combine that with Christmas money (my grandparents typically either give me $1000 or $50, probably depending on how they do at the casinos) and I should be able to get at least 3/4 of it cleared. I'm hoping for $500ish from the next two paychecks, and at least $400 from exam week. If my grandparents give me the high end, I'm set, if not, I still have some work to do. In the event that I still owe a significant sum, I'm going to have to look into getting a credit card to start on the tattoo.

Last year during Fall exam week I worked my ass off, so much in fact that I was told I couldn't work my last shift because I was already into overtime. It'll probably be the same this year, but instead I'll just ask if I can get paid regular hours even if I'm in OT because I need the $$$.

This is what my work schedule looks like (exam week starts on the 14th):

TH 12-14
Breakfast: Coordinator 7 AM
Lunch: Greeter 1015 AM
Dinner: Greeter 445 PM

FRI 12-15
Breakfast: Greeter 645 AM
Lunch: Hot Bar 1030 AM
Dinner: Hot Bar 5 PM

MON 12-18
Breakfast: Greeter 645 AM
Lunch: Greeter 1015 AM
Dinner: Hot Bar 5 PM

TUE 12-19
Breakfast: Coordinator 630 AM
Lunch: Salad Bar 1030 AM
Dinner: Hot Bar 5 PM

WED 12-20
Breakfast: Greeter 645 AM
Lunch: Salad Bar 1030 AM
Dinner: Salad Bar 445 PM

TH 12-21
Lunch: Coordinator 10 AM
Dinner: Salad Bar 445 PM

FRI 12-22
Lunch: Coordinator 10 AM
Dinner: HOME

Projected 48 hours for an estimated $425+ gross
------
This isn't as bad as it seems; during the later stages of the week we typically play cards and hook up iPods to the stereos and chill, because there's absolutely nothing to do. Still, I'm basically going to be living at Stockwell for a week...as if I don't already. If you want a free meal, just go there whenever I have a "greeter" shift and I'll let you in (and maybe a friend, but don't count on it).

I could ask my parents for some money to help with the situation for Christmas, but instead I think I'm gonna ask my dad if we can go to the range and rent (at the cost of $150 for a half hour, not including ammunition) and fire off an MP5:


Merry Christmas ya filthy animal

ugh

you wake up, and reality slaps you in the face.

but since you basically have no control over anything, what else can you do but turn the other cheek and wait for another one?

gah.

my conversation with gabe watson

This took place a few weeks ago at one of my IM football games with FASA's Brown Squadron. Big Gabe, now with the Arizona Cardinals, flew up to Umich for the Ball State game during the Cards' bye week. Gabe is dating a girl on FASA and dropped by our IM game to support her and the squad (I guess he coached them last year but I didn't join up til this year). Seeing a 6'3", 340 pound guy sauntering towards you in a European-made, custom-tailored, ultra-expensive dress shirt (which probably cost a quarter of what my motorcycle did), and realizing that it's a former college All-Star and current NFL player... well, to say the least it was pretty fucking sweet.

He came midway during the first half, so he missed my 100 yard TD run (actually I guess it's 60 yards because Mitchell Field's fields are only 60, but it was endzone-to-endzone), but I still was able to show off some skills to the big guy, although I doubt he was impressed considering the talent around him (i.e. Edge, Leinart, Anquan, Fitz). Still, I think I put on a good enough show to keep him watching for a little and not walk out considering the fact that it was freezing outside and the only thing he had on was that $500 (sólo especulación) dress shirt.

After one of our (along with most) offensive drives stalled I got a chance to talk to him, and I wasn't going to be shocked and awed into not doing so, like I did when I ran into Braylon at the gym and couldn't find any words ("Uhh.. it's an honor to meet you man... everytime you catch a touchdown I can say I shook that hand..."). I asked Gabe what time he flew in and it turned out it was just an hour before, he had come straight to the game from the airport so Rachel could play in the IM game. It was 83 when he left Arizona and very suckily, when he flew into DTW it was below freezing. The ground that night was totally frosted, and hitting the ground felt like concrete (in my first game I wound up scraping my hand and the bottom half of my elbow on the ground and lots of blood resulted).

I asked him how his year was going so far and he said great, he's been starting the past few games (he's tied for fifth on the Cards in sacks) and obviously he's enjoying the PT. I asked how the med treatments in the NFL were compared to UM, considering that we probably have one of the best training squads in the nation. He said yeah, UM is great, but in the NFL they give you a shot and zoom, the pain goes away just like that. He went on to gripe that "this one motherfucker is gettin paid $9 million a year and he's doing nothin', he's just fuckin it up." He left that player unnamed to avoid any controversy, but I'm guessing it's either the guy ahead of him (Kendrick Clancy), but it could very well be any other Cardinal considering that they're 2-8.

Gabe told me that the NFL is not a game but purely a business; the players have families to take care of, but they get cut left and right like they're nothing.

Then, after I threw my second pick of the game (the receiver slipped on ice), he drew up a play for me, and that's probably the sweetest moment of my life thus far. He had all the receivers roll right and I just drew to the left after everyone ran over. The play worked for a good 25 yards, and we'll probably go back to it in the future. That game was pretty much the best IM game I've ever had (because in Men's A you can't really run all over the place and expect to win), so I wish Gabe could be at every IM game we have, but of course he's making millions of dollars killing quarterbacks so its all good.



Gabe Watson eats opposing quarterbacks' children

Yahoo! Sports Profile: #98 Gabe Watson

fast food freestyle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLn45-7Pn2Y



I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce
Don't be frontin' son no seeds on a bun
We be up in this drive thru
Order for two
I gots a craving for a number nine like my shoe
We need some chicken up in here
In this dizzle
For rizzle my nizzle
Extra salt on the frizzle
Dr. Pepper my brother
Another for your mother
Double double super size
And don't forget the FRIES...



"Uhhh...can you throw that down again?"

"You ruined the rap there"
"You didn't tell me what you wanted you said number nine number nine what we got grilled or crispy"

crunksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time of... thanks. We bow our heads in thanks for all the great things given to us in our lives (I ain't bowing for long) and acknowledge them before we stuff our oral cavities full of delicious, mouthwatering meat, potatoes, gravy, pie, etc. etc. etc. One of the things I'm particularly happy about are the few songs that have come out recently that give a solid testiment towards crunk music being good. Recently, crunk has been nothing but ridin dirty and everyday im hustlin with booty booty booty rockin everywhere so whatchu know about dat cuz meet me in the mall its goin down n i know you see it my chain hang low so come and snap yo fingaz im so icy cuz i cut you up like you aint been cut back then they didnt want me but now im hot they all on me so can a playa just keep in touuuuuuuch? Take those and repeat chorus x10. The summer was an awful smorgasbord clusterfuck of these songs and it became pretty unbearable after awhile, I found myself listening to oldies stations and even COUNTRY stations to get away from these overplayed tunes.

But a few GOOD crunk songs have made it through the cracks and have surfaced above the shitpile. I'm talking about quality along the lines of "Yeah", "Get Low", and "Salt Shaker", all of which were the Spring Break ('04 PCB) Anthems of my senior year in high school. If you're partying on Thanksgiving or anytime in the near future, check these out and make sure they're on your playlist. Some of these songs may not qualify as crunk, such as Lloyd Banks, but for the sake of giving you good downloads (legal...) I'll put em up anyway.

CUHRUNK: (RED = HOT shit)

jay-z - show me what you got (from the bud commercial)
dj khaled feat. paul wall, lil' wayne, rick ross, fat joe & pitbull - holla at me baby
jim jones - we flyin' high (ballin')
^You notice how the hot thing to do for football players is the jump shot? It's because of Jim Jones

birdman feat. lil wayne - stuntin' like my daddy
lloyd banks - hands up
manny fresh - walking to my escalade
daddy yankee feat. lil' jon, pitbull & noreaga - gasolina (dj buddha remix)
twista feat. pitbull - hit the floor
ying yang twins feat. pitbull - shake
pitbull - oye
nelly feat. paul wall - grillz (yeah, it's ok)
fergie - fergalicious (yes...fergalicious)
danity kane - show stopper

NON-CUHRUNK but still download worthy (RED = HOT shit)

aaliyah feat. dmx - come back in one piece
lloyd banks - karma
jamie foxx feat. kanye west and jermaine dupri - one night extravaganza (remix)
zero 7 - in the waiting line
tlc - waterfalls
lupe fiasco feat. matthew santos - american terrorist
justin timberlake feat. ti - my love (i submit, i like this song. you know you do too so stfu)
lupe fiasco feat. jill scott - daydreamin'
lupe fiasco - kick, push
dialated peoples - worse come to worst
aaliyah feat. timbaland - try again
aaliyah feat. dmx and ice cube - try again (remix)
aaliyah - if your girl only knew
aaliyah - one in a million
musiq soulchild - halfcrazy
jon b - they don't know
thelonious monk and john coltrane - epistrophy
the shins - caring is creepy
dangerdoom - sofa king
fiona apple - shadowboxer
organic audio - nurega
the beatnuts feat. dmx, drag-on, big pun - watch out now (prizefighter rmx)
fat jon - funkin

Eat turducken and get crunk at the same time, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ^_^

"A bacon-coated Turducken" - Courtesy Wikipedia
So... turdorkucken? Torkurducken? Turduporken?
YEAH HIGH CHOLESTEROL! YEAH OBESITY EPIDEMIC AMERICA!
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

sitting by the pool

I betcha can't figure this puzzle out without getting stumped. Zeke is a genious, so one of the things he does in his free time is work on the College Puzzle Challenge. He and a team had 24 hours to work on a booklet of puzzles that make a typical mind go insane. He later showed us the booklet he was working on, and I honestly couldn't figure out 90% of the shit in there (I wasn't in a sober state of mind, but still...). He pointed out one puzzle in particular that is probably the most incredible and smartest thing I've ever seen. See if you can figure it out:

“Sitting by the Pool”
Screenplay by Jason Geffner

FADE IN:
NEW YORK CITY – A DOWNTOWN INTERSECTION

CHIEF
I’ve been on the force for a long time now, but this was by far the worst I’ve ever seen. It was a late Sunday night, and I was in the middle of folding my clothes for the next morning when I got the call. The roads were slick from the rain that night, and I had to drive downtown to the scene of the crime to inspect the evidence. As I got nearer, I saw the flashing lights. I parked on the corner and walked over to Deputy Jones, who was there waiting for me.

JONES
“What a mess, huh Chief?”

CHIEF
I looked down at chalked figures surrounding a married couple, lying face-up on the ground. It was a cold night, and the bodies were still warm. I knew it must have happened less than an hour ago.

JONES
“Probably was a crime of passion”

CHIEF
“What makes you think that?”

JONES
“The murderer didn’t steal the woman’s diamond necklace”

CHIEF
Based on my experience, I knew that there was a different motive, but I didn’t say anything. Just a few inches away was another body… a young man, dressed in black leather.
(Noticing the boy’s head tightly cocked to the side.)
“Looks like this boy had his neck snapped”

JONES
“That’s not the worst of it. Look closer.”

CHIEF
I tilted my head down and shown my flashlight on the young man. I was appalled to see a gaping hole in the center of his chest. I looked to the side and saw a bloody heart, flopped on the ground next to him.

JONES
“Who do you think did it?”

CHIEF
“This was a pot deal gone bad. The victims didn’t pay up, so their dealer laid them out. These folks had to know they were under the gun, drawing dead.”
(Jones doesn’t respond.)
“To pull off this kind of cold-blooded crime, he must’ve had some real dark rockets in his pockets, if you know what I mean.”

JONES
(Looking at Chief with a puzzled expression)
“How do we find him?”

CHIEF
“My guess is that he’s near the last piece of evidence.”

JONES
“Last piece of evidence? What last piece of evidence?”

CHIEF
“You can find it in the river bank, just south of 6th Street.”

SOUTH OF 6th STREET

JONES
“Whoever did this was sick.”

CHIEF
“He wasn’t sick. He was nuts.”

FADE OUT

Question: What was the last piece of evidence?

Figure it out?

Some hints: Think popular culture, particularly a few years ago, and key words.

Think you got it? Don't? Ask me or Zeke and we'll tell you the answer.

oh man

Today at work Linda and I were talking at the checker stand and a girl came in and asked if we could do a quick survey. Sure. The questions were, what gender are you, and about how many times a day do you check facebook. I bet I put more than Linda. Shit. I put 3+, but its probably really like five. The mini-feed reveals all, and I'm not insecure enough to delete shit that I do. All I basically do now on facebook anyway is write on peoples walls.

gratificación instantánea

cravings. in no particular order. i need instant gratification for (and when i'm getting them fulfilled):

1. djarum supers
(tomorrow after work)

2. fucking THAI FOOD omggggg
(ASAP, if someone will PLEASE go with me to No Thai - i'll buy it for you - or whenever i go home because i got my parents hooked on thai food)

3. sleep
(whenever i'm done blogging, i'm actually trying to give some substance for your entertainment - it's 3:45 in the morning by the way)

4. DINERO
(wednesday, but going straight to my dad to pay off my ninja...and i'll still owe just under two grand)

5. an LG Chocolate or Motorola KRAZR
(Christmas)

6. a damn beach
(spring break, daytona beach, road trip, hell yessss)

7. a tattoo
(hopefully before #6, depending on #4, i might need to invest in a credit card)

8. you (uh maybe not)
(depends on how good looking and unmale you are)

7. a michigan/osu rematch (and therefore a notre dame win on saturday)
(january)

8. world peace
(nah, just kidding, i prefer war)

working the game

Friday night, this l-uh-ovely group of girls drunkenly revealed to me the secret to getting girls with little to no use of the game:


KT, Kayee, Ashley - they gave me the cheat codes to skip to the final boss level and beat the game: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A - this also works in Contra, Gradius, Gradius III, Silent Hill 3, Metal Gear Solid 2, Gradius V, DrumMania, and Dance Dance Revolution

Of course, I was probably more drunk than the three of them combined and practically passed out on the couch, so it all made sense to me at the time. The keys are:

UNO>Smell good, but not like you're going to or just got out of the gym. This is clutch for me because I use Old Spice spray and Right Guard powerstripe, which definitely make me smell sporty, maybe too sporty, and I use Adidas cologne sometimes, which is REAL sporty. Also, don't use cheap cologne. I was told not to use Polo, but Boss is good.

UNO Y MEDIA>USE AXE when smelling good. I don't like Axe in general, I'm more of a Tag guy, but this point was emphasized many times, very loudly. I do use a crapload of Axe body washes (snake peel, reload, reenergize, clix), and I use the clix deoderant too. I was told that the body washes are a plus. Don't hate me because I have good personal hygiene man, I'm not gay.

DOS>Confidence. I feel like I have enough of this, especially when I'm drunk, but its still something I could work on. I know there are times when I should say something but I don't, not even swinging and missing but rather having the shot lined up in my sights and not pulling the trigger. But out of the three keys I think this is what I've got the most of.

DOS Y MEDIA>Be Considerate to the girl you're with. Be nice, offer her a drink, offer to take her coat, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

TRES>Goldschlager. I've only had this once, and it looks like there's little flecks of old, depreciated lead paint inside, but those are probably just little confetti flakes. But it was good when I had it, and I think this may just have to become my drink of choice over sake (partly because sake has less game quality, partly because I learned today that sake can potentially contain a lot of polychlorinated biphenlys - these are not healthy).

With the exception of DOS, these could just be the personal opinions of these girls and probably are, but I'll see if I can't have any success. Expect some (lots of) Goldschlager at the next party.

Tom Selleck's Moustache pt. III

The Men's A League IM football team I've been on for the past three years has had some rocky times. Frosh year, we started as Tom Selleck's Moustache. Comprised of a soluble mix of wised up seniors and juniors and eager freshmen, we got to the Men's A Playoffs Final Four, beating the UM baseball team (including Doug Pickens, who at Brother Rice led his football team to the state championship game four years in a row, losing four times), and beating another team in a superclutch overtime game at Oosterban Fieldhouse. If you don't know, Oosterban is where the UM football team practices indoors when they're not practicing outside. It's a full 100 yards, a far cry from the 60 yard fields at Mitchell. We lost in the Final Four and our dreams were shattered, but the core group of North Farmington Raider freshmen that year looked to rebound and improve during the next three years.

We retooled our roster after losing a good group of seniors, but to put it simply, sophomore year was a disaster. After losing in the second round of the preseason IM football tournament due to bad refereeing, Tom Selleck's Moustache (keeping the same name in the name of tradition) was kicked out of IM football after our first game. Referees royally fucked us, and it wasn't like we were even biased in any way. The refs blatantly lost us the game. We heard the refs confer with each other and say that they no one saw what happened during a play that resulted in a touchdown for the other team. They let the opposing quarterback scramble for a touchdown even after he clearly stepped out of bounds long before he reached the endzone. They called a phantom pass interference call on what would have been a picksix for us. Then, when we were driving down the field for one last shot to tie the game, they moved the first down/LOS markers so slow (the ref fucking walked) that the clock ran out. Before then our players had yelled "you motherfucker", "you're a faggot", "you're a fucking idiot" directly into the faces of the referees, leading us to have several unsportsmanlike penalties beforehand. What clinched the doom for us is when after losing the game, out of frustration I punted the ball onto the next field where a game was still going on.

We tried to appeal the decision to suspend our team for the year, but the AD of recsports, Dave Siegel (the fat guy who talked at the manager's meeting if you went), refused. Noah, our allstar QB, said he had to get on his knees and suck the guy's nuts off, but he still wouldn't listen.

Needless to say, that was a short and disappointing season. When October rolled around, we revamped our roster yet again, and came back hungry. We were pissed after last year's bullshit. We rolled over the first team we played, 20-6, with only eight players (it's seven on seven). The second team was a little harder, but still couldn't do shit, losing to us 7-20. The third team was a group of fiery freshies, who throughout the game would not stop talking shit, particularly after they took a 7-0 lead and took at 13-0 lead on the very last play of the first half (which was because we had to replay the down due to a penalty - a penalty on THEM). We learned later that one of these shit talking pussies was actually drunk during the game, and we came pretty damn close to throwin bows with these bitches. But we kept our cool, rallied back, and shut their asses out in the second half, winning 20-13 and talking shit with the scoreboard (also with our mouths, we're not THAT humble).

We're 3-0 right now and have a bye this week, and according to the brackets we're the #2 squad in the league (out of 125+ teams). You might think that yeah, this is just intramural football, but you have to understand the level of competition in Men's A League. These are all the kids who were allstars in high school that didn't play in college, and includes those who could've and should've played in college (yes, myself included).

And just in case you thought I was too ultra hardcore in Co-Rec B Novice League with my wristband playbook and practices (I've been told that too), check this email from our beast of a human being Dan Spradling:

Gentlemen,

I signed us up for playoffs this past Friday. We are in the Independent Mens AA playoffs.
We signed up to have a first round bye and will play our first playoff game November 29th (Wednesday) at 6:30 on Mitchell field #4.

When we win that game, we will play December 3rd (Sunday) at 6:30 on Mitchell field #2.

After taking care of business in that contest, it will be onto the semifinals in Oosterban. The Semifinal game will be played December 4th (Monday) at 11:00 pm.

When we win that game, we will move on to the championship game on December 10th at 10:00 pm in Oosterban. Upon completion of that contest, we will collect our t-shirts, smile and snap a few photos.

A few notes:

* I’ve scanned and attached the entire bracket system and our roster of eligible players if you’d like to look at our competition (we play the winner of tomorrow’s 10:30 game that will be held at Mitchell field #3)

** I wasn’t crazy about our current passing tree because while it was simple it relied on memorization and didn’t give us many options. I’ve scanned and attached the version that I am used to. This version gives us more routes and is set up in a way that even if you don’t memorize it you know that an even # means IN (odd means OUT) and the larger the number the deeper the route. Slants are a hand signal from QB (hand over heart) and a buttonhook is QB bumping fists together twice. An out and up would be the QB shouting “3” while touching the top of his head. This can be as simple or complicated as you’d like because we can always just huddle before a play if we want to do a double move or something. Take a look and let me know what you guys think.

Finally I have to apologize for only playing in one regular season game, because I was out of town for interviews. But I’ve got the job I want so now it’s all about helpingguide this team to “The Ship” – Cowboy Up boys and let’s go win this damn thing…

DDSprad
-----

If I tried explaining this in CoRec B, no one would have any clue about what I was talking about.



Yeah, it says "Jewish or Redneck". Don't jock our plays, assholes.

IM Playoffs Men's League AA
IM Playoffs CoRec B Novice League (for my Brown Squadron cats)

YEAH HAWAII

Have you seen the latest college football top 25 polls yet? Didja notice who snuck into 25 in the AP, USA Today, and Harris Interactive polls? Yessir, that's right ladies and gentlemen, the University of Hawaii is ranked #25. The same University of Hawaii that I was planning to play at, who gave me "preferred walk-on" status, and who sent me a tshirt and two hats in an attempt at recruitment. I was all set to go there and play with NFL Europe champion and former Detroit Lion (for a week) Timmy Chang. That was, until my parents told me I'd have to pay my way through college if I went to Hawaii. Thus ended my dreams of playing college football and a great excuse to spend four years in paradise (because though I was received letters from Grand Valley State [my number three option after Michigan and number two option for football], Miami Ohio, EMU, WMU, CMU, and other D2, D3, D4 schools, there was no way I would go to those schools to play football over Michigan's academia). It would've been nice if I was there now because I'd be in complete warmth and not freezing in the damn snow.

In any case, I still have a good amount of Warrior pride in me, and I can't help but enjoy the fact that they're back in the top 25. The last time they got in they got up to 24 when Timmy Chang was gunslingin, back when I was in high school. I wanted to play at Hawaii after watching one game when BYU was nationally ranked and went into Hawaii, expecting a blowout. Hawaii fucking lit BYU up, scoring 60 points by the third quarter. Michigan State also played Hawaii a couple of years ago, going down by 30 points and making an incredible run to embarrass and upset the Spartans by coming back.

Former NFL coach June Jones runs the original spread, pass-heavy offense that so many teams have copycatted because they realize its potential in the right hands. Thus far this year, Hawaii is 9-2, losing only to Alabama and #12 ranked Boise State (who they only lost to by a touchdown). Take a look at their scoring numbers:

Sat, Sep 2 at Alabama ----- L 17-25
Sun, Sep 17 UNLV ----- W 42-13
Sat, Sep 23 at (12) Boise State ----- L 34-41
Sun, Oct 1 Eastern Illinois ----- W 44-9
Sun, Oct 8 Nevada ----- W 41-34
Sat, Oct 14 at Fresno State ----- W 68-37
Sat, Oct 21 at New Mexico State ----- W 49-30
Sun, Oct 29 Idaho ----- W 68-10
Sat, Nov 4 at Utah State ----- W 63-10
Sat, Nov 11 Louisiana Tech ----- W 61-17
Sat, Nov 18 San Jose State ----- W 54-17
Sat, Nov 25 Purdue ----- 11:05 pm
Sat, Dec 2 Oregon State ----- 11:05 pm

How often do you see 60 point games? These guys do it consistently. Quarterback Colt Brennan has 48 touchdowns - only two less than Chad Henne and Troy Smith COMBINED. Brennan has the most yards and touchdowns in the NCAA, even though he's only ranked fourth in terms of pass attempts (he has 143 less attempts than Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell - Brennan averages a touchdown every 8.7 passes, so if he threw as many times as Harrell he'd have at least 16 more TDs, upping him to 64). And yes, they are extremely pass heavy, but their runningback Nate Ilaoa has 686 yards and 10 touchdowns... which could be mine.

In any case, I wish the Warriors all the success in the future, even though they've already claimed the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl. Yes, they made a bowl just for themselves (which they've been to the past 4 out of 5 years), but they're still sweet.

If you wanna watch the gunslinging high-powered action of the Hawaii Warriors, make sure to catch the 2006 Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, Christmas Eve at 8 PM EST on ESPN or ESPN2.



DAMMIT, that could've been me

University of Hawaii Football
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl

second thoughts

It's spring break. It's a road trip. It's Daytona Beach. It's sun, the sand, the waves. It's endless amount of alcohol. On top of that, it's super, ultra, mega cheap as hell.

So why am I having second thoughts about going on this trip? A conversation with Kat:

aZiANeYeDKat: basically i think there is going to be 8 guys and 3 girls...
aZiANeYeDKat: that's what happens when most of your friends are guys..
aZiANeYeDKat: haha
aZiANeYeDKat: big sausage fest
aZiANeYeDKat: sorry
OneShot315: mannnn
OneShot315: haha and one of the girls is taken obviously
OneShot315: 7:2
aZiANeYeDKat: lol
aZiANeYeDKat: you mean two of the girls
aZiANeYeDKat: so it's 6:1
OneShot315: oh man i hope you didnt include andrew and ashley in there..
OneShot315: oh noooooooo
aZiANeYeDKat: lol
OneShot315: oh wellok
aZiANeYeDKat: hahahahah
aZiANeYeDKat: it's ok
aZiANeYeDKat: it's daytona
aZiANeYeDKat: beach
OneShot315: very true
aZiANeYeDKat: and you'll be 21
aZiANeYeDKat: plus
OneShot315: not by then
aZiANeYeDKat: girls just cause drama anyway
aZiANeYeDKat: oh well
OneShot315: hahhaaha
aZiANeYeDKat: you won't be the only one
OneShot315: theres so much to not like about this trip
OneShot315: but theres so much to like too
aZiANeYeDKat: what
aZiANeYeDKat: cuz there's no girls?
OneShot315: no girls, not 21, but its not like there wont be girls and we wont drink
OneShot315: because there clearly will be girls and we will clearly drink
aZiANeYeDKat: lol
aZiANeYeDKat: yeah
aZiANeYeDKat: besides
aZiANeYeDKat: i don't want things to get awkward b/w known people
OneShot315: right right
aZiANeYeDKat: so if stuff happens
aZiANeYeDKat: it stays in florida
OneShot315: hahahahaha nice

No girls? (Hopefully I'll be hooked up by then?) I'm not gonna be 21? (I have a fake ID?)

Sheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiitttttttttt

tivo? or tebow?

I just saw a tivo commercial and I'm so tired that everytime the lady said "tivo" I thought she said "Tebow". Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is a medium (but not a big) deal in our apartment, first because Tebow was considering coming to Michigan (but didn't because he is the complete opposite of our style), and also because Zeke is such a big Florida fan.

Did you know that Tim Tebow was born in the Philippines? Yeah, I'm dead serious, his parents were (are still I think) missionaries, and they go back to PI all the time with Tebow. I bet he speaks the language better than I do because I learned absolutely nothing in Filipino at Umich.



It's all that deep fried fatty Filipino food that gives his white ass powers only a colored person could have

eyes wide shut

It's 1:47 AM. I'm exhausted. I didn't wake up hungover this morning, but I was certainly exhausted then. I didn't want to sleep in too much because I was supposed to get shit done. The first thing I accomplished today was at 2:50 PM when Chenny, Mirasol, and I resigned our lease. Otherwise it's been a fairly productive day, with a free meal, working on my Asian-American History group project ("updating" our "website"), then wrapping up with Bio, which took me, as usual, a hell of a lot longer than it should have.

So I got back and had a little extra time. I could've just passed out because I have to work at 7 AM tomorrow at that god-forsaken place known as Stockwell Cafeteria. I'm not going to bitch about that even though it clearly deserves it. But no, I decided to stay up and UPDATE MY FUCKING BLOG. I haven't done consistently updated this since the summer, particularly because I have NO TIME/NO EFFORT, but I'm grinding it through tonight to flood the blog with new shit.

I've written so much so far that Blogger.com believes that my blog is a "spam" blog and I have to submit my website for review so they can declare it a non-spam blog and everytime I submit an article until they clear it, I have to type in a word verification code (you know, where they give you disjointed letters/numbers and you have to type in what it is) everytime I post something. I hope they find the stuff I have posted ok, even with the explicicity (yeah...it's frigging early, ok) I sometimes use.

Why am I doing this even though I have to wake up in less than five hours? Because I'm in the writing zone, and I haven't been in it in quite some time. When I'm in the zone and in a writing mode, it's like going on Wikipedia. You find something you're interested in reading, and in that article find another thing you're interested in reading, and then find a different article on another fucking thing you find interesting, until you have many open windows that you can't possibly read them all. That's how it is when I'm in the zone, just substitute writing with reading. The only things keeping me awake are SportsCenter, Zeke being awake and coming out once in awhile to tell me random news stories, and ocassionaly talking to Chenny on AIM. I'm gonna grind out three or four more articles (it's now 1:55 AM), just for you, my lovely viewers, so you better fucking appreciate it and read me.

I'm probably gonna wind up passing out on the couch again, my back is already crying in anticipation.

unrealistic immigration

I just got done watching Men In Black. Definitely a classic, a childhood favorite, a great ride at Universal Studios (but not better than Spider Man), and much, much, MUCH better than the sequel.

But what I don't get is this: you remember the scene where J is first introduced to MIB HQ and K walks him through all the alien "immigrants" coming in from trillions of light years away? Yeah.

So my question is this: if you were an alien, why the hell would you want to come to earth? What do we have to offer? A planet full of people whose sole purpose is to kill each other, an atmosphere full of pollution, a fucking hole in the ozone layer that will eventually lead to Noah's Ark, and a planet full of people who are completely discriminatory to others. Yeah, there might be shittier places elsewhere, but earth? There are probably millions of planets (and moons) out there that are better than this one.

I'm all for earth, don't get me wrong, but if I had to travel trillions of miles to get here, I'd probably just save the money and buy a PS3. Actually nah, that costs too much right now, I'd get a Wii instead.

Don't forget Aldous Huxley's famous words, "Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

Nuff' said.

madd fobbish yoo

OneShot315: back at it eh
Chenny85: yea lol
OneShot315: or not lol
Chenny85: at angell now
OneShot315: ya
OneShot315: are there a lot of pepole
Chenny85: um im loking around
Chenny85: and its like
Chenny85: 30% filled
OneShot315: wow
Chenny85: 80% of that 30
Chenny85: is asian
Chenny85: 50% of that 80 are fobs
OneShot315: LOL
OneShot315: HAHAHAHAHA
OneShot315: ahahhahahahha
OneShot315: fobs never sleep
Chenny85: yea thats true
Chenny85: i was here at 3am
Chenny85: and all were awake
OneShot315: they just smoke, play ddr, starcraft, world of warcraft, and do homework

Chenny85: its cuz im a fob now
Chenny85: she is very white
Chenny85: im turning into a fob
Chenny85: seriously
Chenny85: i eat chinese food as often as i can
Chenny85: i watch chinese tv on the internet
-----
A case study with photographic evidence:

This is what gangstas do:




This is what FOBs do:




And this was already posted on my blog before, but here it is again:

party hardy

Shit I remember doing at the party on Friday:

>Taking off my shirt (again, because someone spilled beer on it, again) and playing football in the street even though I couldn't see straight

"You're just looking for an excuse to take your shirt off!" - Razz
"Damn straight."

>Jamming my thumb REAL bad, it's a very good thing my IM teams are sweet (yea Tom Selleck's Moustache pt. III and Brown Squadron) and have bye weeks this week

>Having my fifth of tequila stolen (ironically, it's the fifth time I've had a fifth of alcohol stolen at a party at MY APARTMENT)

>Throwing a football into the graveyard, thanks to Rahul for jumping over the huge pointy fence and risking his nuts for it

>Putting out a cigarette butt on my kitchen wall

>Looking at my elbow, realizing that it was cut and bleeding, and not knowing how it happened

>Whipping out a super soaker and a plastic samurai sword and dealing damage with both pieces of weaponry

>Threatening to fight with some kid I don't even know for a reason I don't remember
(oh wait, I do remember, and I can't believe I wanted to fight about that)

>Knocking over an entire beer pong table, complete with cups and beer

>Punching the wall very hard multiple times after losing in beer pong to Team China/Yao/Communist

>Throwing cups and pong balls all over the room after losing to Team China/Yao/Communist

"Dude. Fucking anger management!" - Zeke

>Wishing certain people would've stayed longer

>Losing my phone multiple times

>Having girls tell me the secret to having game (for a future article, stay tuned)

...and thats just what I remember...

Thanks to everyone who came and I said hi too but didn't get a chance to talk to too extensively because I was pumped full of tequila, sake, vodka, beer, whatever (I ran into Coop today late at Angell and he told me I was competely gone). And thanks to everyone who cleaned up the enormous mess I made, I blame the tequila. It fucked me. Real bad.

We'll let you know when we have another one, stay tuned to the motherfuckin greatest.


Have you ever seen so many brown people in your life outside of Asia? Yeah, it's called our apartment every other weekend. I think I threatened to fight one of these kids, but I frankly don't remember.


Friday night:
Team Philippines/Democracy, Team China/Yao/Communists, Coop


Saturday night: Not as bad as Friday night...actually, yeah it was, I passed out at halftime.

Check out the album on Razz's facebook: OSU weekend/complete stupidity

The BCS Explained

Just in case you don't understand the BCS, here is ESPN's explanation.

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tvlistings/abcStory?page=bcsexplanation

If you don't want to read all that technical nonsensical jargon...basically, the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) system takes the Harris Poll and the USA Today Coaches Poll into account. These count for 2/3 of the overall BCS rankings. The other third is the BCS computer formula, which takes into account factors like strength of schedule, home and away games, margin of victory, quality wins (vs. ranked opponents), etc. The formula comes out with rankings for teams as well based on these factors.

The Harris Poll, USA Today Coaches Poll, and BCS computer formula are then all combined and averaged, and the result of all three is the BCS rankings, which determine who goes to the national championship. In case you're an idiot and don't know yet, the big news today is that Michigan is still ranked #2 despite losing to OSU on Saturday, with USC trailing VERY close behind.

Currently the AP Poll (which is for media purposes only) has us at #2, the USA Today Coaches Poll has us at #3, and the BCS Computer Formula has us at #2. In all cases, the votes/percentages are very slim, so the Notre Dame/USC game on Saturday basically determines whether or not we go to the national championship for a rematch. If the Irish pull through we should be pretty much guaranteed a shot to Glendale. People are saying if the game is close and SC still wins, we might have a shot still but I very highly doubt that. So for the first time in my life I'm pulling for Notre Dame...Go.....I..r..is..h.

he said

"he said, i would marry you
but i'm engaged to these aerials and varials
and i don't think this board is strong enough to carry two

she said bow, i weigh 120 pounds
now, let me make one thing clear
i don't need to ride yours
i got mine right here
so she took him to a spot he didn't know about
something odd in the apartment parking lot
she said, i don't normally take dates in here
security came and said, i'm sorry there's no skating here"
- lupe fiasco, kick, push

revival? nah.

This is the first post since 8/26, over two months ago and well before school began... school's going strong, as usual too strong, and a lot has happened since then and now. Notably:

- Countless parties at A3, costing Mirasol and I LOTS of money, but its worth it since every party has exponentially gotten better, with the finale (for now) being the ridiculously insane block party last Friday. Nice work to all the apts at 1700 Geddes who put in
- Undefeated Michigan #2
- Trying to read everything and get ALL my work done this year, and I've spent more time at the Ugli in these first 8-9 weeks than I have the previous two years combined
- Was on the boxing team for the first few weeks, even paid my dues, but no longer go due to 1. no time whatsoever to dedicate three days a week (I'd either go to all practices or none, no halfassing here) and 2. because I have no reach whatsoever and during sparring would get jabbed to hell
- Not technically in FASA yet, but I guess doing IM sports with em, we'll see where that goes when IM football season is over
- School is still dragging me down like crazy, even more so now because I'm trying
- Switching from creative writing to general english (because only 8 out of 80 applicants get into CW, and I know I don't try THAT hard), making this the fourth major change in three years. It's no wonder I'm surprised that everyone else can technically finish their majors this year or with just one semester next. I still have a LONG way to go
- Tom Selleck's Moustache pt. III is 1-0 and looks fucking sick, if we don't make it to the Big House for the Men's A IM football finals I'll honestly be shellshocked
- FASA's Brown Squadron is 1-0 and looks pretty solid, Gabe Watson's girlfriend is on FASA and he's (or at least she is) getting us personalized jerseys
- The Contender had a pretty successful season, and the guys from Detroit got 2nd and 3rd place (though the guy who won third basically cheated his way to winning)
- Detroit Pistons opening night tonight vs. Milwaukee, (I'm going) 8PM on myTV20 (the remaining soul of the WB20 frog)
- Tigers choked (are you surprised? If I'm motivated I'll write about it later)
- Cut down on smoking (actually, toking really) a TON this year, but alcohol use is making up for it
- Still owe just as much money on my kawi as I did at the beginning of the summer, but with the parties winding down now I can finally start paying it off
- I had a solid six pack at the very beginning of the year but now... lets just say I have to get back to where I was at
- There's a lot of other things I probably forgot but I honestly really don't care. I'm just trying to get my writing skills back

What hasn't changed? The Lions. Workin' hard for the #1 pick.

I'm gonna try to write more here but I honestly probably wont. It's all wishful thinking. I really should be writing more here because most if not all my classes next year will be english/writing classes. Plus writing is my anti-drug (riiiiiiiiight). We'll see. Don't expect much, but keep checkin anyway.