Tom Selleck's Moustache pt. III
The Men's A League IM football team I've been on for the past three years has had some rocky times. Frosh year, we started as Tom Selleck's Moustache. Comprised of a soluble mix of wised up seniors and juniors and eager freshmen, we got to the Men's A Playoffs Final Four, beating the UM baseball team (including Doug Pickens, who at Brother Rice led his football team to the state championship game four years in a row, losing four times), and beating another team in a superclutch overtime game at Oosterban Fieldhouse. If you don't know, Oosterban is where the UM football team practices indoors when they're not practicing outside. It's a full 100 yards, a far cry from the 60 yard fields at Mitchell. We lost in the Final Four and our dreams were shattered, but the core group of North Farmington Raider freshmen that year looked to rebound and improve during the next three years.
We retooled our roster after losing a good group of seniors, but to put it simply, sophomore year was a disaster. After losing in the second round of the preseason IM football tournament due to bad refereeing, Tom Selleck's Moustache (keeping the same name in the name of tradition) was kicked out of IM football after our first game. Referees royally fucked us, and it wasn't like we were even biased in any way. The refs blatantly lost us the game. We heard the refs confer with each other and say that they no one saw what happened during a play that resulted in a touchdown for the other team. They let the opposing quarterback scramble for a touchdown even after he clearly stepped out of bounds long before he reached the endzone. They called a phantom pass interference call on what would have been a picksix for us. Then, when we were driving down the field for one last shot to tie the game, they moved the first down/LOS markers so slow (the ref fucking walked) that the clock ran out. Before then our players had yelled "you motherfucker", "you're a faggot", "you're a fucking idiot" directly into the faces of the referees, leading us to have several unsportsmanlike penalties beforehand. What clinched the doom for us is when after losing the game, out of frustration I punted the ball onto the next field where a game was still going on.
We tried to appeal the decision to suspend our team for the year, but the AD of recsports, Dave Siegel (the fat guy who talked at the manager's meeting if you went), refused. Noah, our allstar QB, said he had to get on his knees and suck the guy's nuts off, but he still wouldn't listen.
Needless to say, that was a short and disappointing season. When October rolled around, we revamped our roster yet again, and came back hungry. We were pissed after last year's bullshit. We rolled over the first team we played, 20-6, with only eight players (it's seven on seven). The second team was a little harder, but still couldn't do shit, losing to us 7-20. The third team was a group of fiery freshies, who throughout the game would not stop talking shit, particularly after they took a 7-0 lead and took at 13-0 lead on the very last play of the first half (which was because we had to replay the down due to a penalty - a penalty on THEM). We learned later that one of these shit talking pussies was actually drunk during the game, and we came pretty damn close to throwin bows with these bitches. But we kept our cool, rallied back, and shut their asses out in the second half, winning 20-13 and talking shit with the scoreboard (also with our mouths, we're not THAT humble).
We're 3-0 right now and have a bye this week, and according to the brackets we're the #2 squad in the league (out of 125+ teams). You might think that yeah, this is just intramural football, but you have to understand the level of competition in Men's A League. These are all the kids who were allstars in high school that didn't play in college, and includes those who could've and should've played in college (yes, myself included).
And just in case you thought I was too ultra hardcore in Co-Rec B Novice League with my wristband playbook and practices (I've been told that too), check this email from our beast of a human being Dan Spradling:
Gentlemen,
I signed us up for playoffs this past Friday. We are in the Independent Mens AA playoffs.
We signed up to have a first round bye and will play our first playoff game November 29th (Wednesday) at 6:30 on Mitchell field #4.
When we win that game, we will play December 3rd (Sunday) at 6:30 on Mitchell field #2.
After taking care of business in that contest, it will be onto the semifinals in Oosterban. The Semifinal game will be played December 4th (Monday) at 11:00 pm.
When we win that game, we will move on to the championship game on December 10th at 10:00 pm in Oosterban. Upon completion of that contest, we will collect our t-shirts, smile and snap a few photos.
A few notes:
* I’ve scanned and attached the entire bracket system and our roster of eligible players if you’d like to look at our competition (we play the winner of tomorrow’s 10:30 game that will be held at Mitchell field #3)
** I wasn’t crazy about our current passing tree because while it was simple it relied on memorization and didn’t give us many options. I’ve scanned and attached the version that I am used to. This version gives us more routes and is set up in a way that even if you don’t memorize it you know that an even # means IN (odd means OUT) and the larger the number the deeper the route. Slants are a hand signal from QB (hand over heart) and a buttonhook is QB bumping fists together twice. An out and up would be the QB shouting “3” while touching the top of his head. This can be as simple or complicated as you’d like because we can always just huddle before a play if we want to do a double move or something. Take a look and let me know what you guys think.
Finally I have to apologize for only playing in one regular season game, because I was out of town for interviews. But I’ve got the job I want so now it’s all about helpingguide this team to “The Ship” – Cowboy Up boys and let’s go win this damn thing…
DDSprad
-----
If I tried explaining this in CoRec B, no one would have any clue about what I was talking about.
Yeah, it says "Jewish or Redneck". Don't jock our plays, assholes.
IM Playoffs Men's League AA
IM Playoffs CoRec B Novice League (for my Brown Squadron cats)
We retooled our roster after losing a good group of seniors, but to put it simply, sophomore year was a disaster. After losing in the second round of the preseason IM football tournament due to bad refereeing, Tom Selleck's Moustache (keeping the same name in the name of tradition) was kicked out of IM football after our first game. Referees royally fucked us, and it wasn't like we were even biased in any way. The refs blatantly lost us the game. We heard the refs confer with each other and say that they no one saw what happened during a play that resulted in a touchdown for the other team. They let the opposing quarterback scramble for a touchdown even after he clearly stepped out of bounds long before he reached the endzone. They called a phantom pass interference call on what would have been a picksix for us. Then, when we were driving down the field for one last shot to tie the game, they moved the first down/LOS markers so slow (the ref fucking walked) that the clock ran out. Before then our players had yelled "you motherfucker", "you're a faggot", "you're a fucking idiot" directly into the faces of the referees, leading us to have several unsportsmanlike penalties beforehand. What clinched the doom for us is when after losing the game, out of frustration I punted the ball onto the next field where a game was still going on.
We tried to appeal the decision to suspend our team for the year, but the AD of recsports, Dave Siegel (the fat guy who talked at the manager's meeting if you went), refused. Noah, our allstar QB, said he had to get on his knees and suck the guy's nuts off, but he still wouldn't listen.
Needless to say, that was a short and disappointing season. When October rolled around, we revamped our roster yet again, and came back hungry. We were pissed after last year's bullshit. We rolled over the first team we played, 20-6, with only eight players (it's seven on seven). The second team was a little harder, but still couldn't do shit, losing to us 7-20. The third team was a group of fiery freshies, who throughout the game would not stop talking shit, particularly after they took a 7-0 lead and took at 13-0 lead on the very last play of the first half (which was because we had to replay the down due to a penalty - a penalty on THEM). We learned later that one of these shit talking pussies was actually drunk during the game, and we came pretty damn close to throwin bows with these bitches. But we kept our cool, rallied back, and shut their asses out in the second half, winning 20-13 and talking shit with the scoreboard (also with our mouths, we're not THAT humble).
We're 3-0 right now and have a bye this week, and according to the brackets we're the #2 squad in the league (out of 125+ teams). You might think that yeah, this is just intramural football, but you have to understand the level of competition in Men's A League. These are all the kids who were allstars in high school that didn't play in college, and includes those who could've and should've played in college (yes, myself included).
And just in case you thought I was too ultra hardcore in Co-Rec B Novice League with my wristband playbook and practices (I've been told that too), check this email from our beast of a human being Dan Spradling:
Gentlemen,
I signed us up for playoffs this past Friday. We are in the Independent Mens AA playoffs.
We signed up to have a first round bye and will play our first playoff game November 29th (Wednesday) at 6:30 on Mitchell field #4.
When we win that game, we will play December 3rd (Sunday) at 6:30 on Mitchell field #2.
After taking care of business in that contest, it will be onto the semifinals in Oosterban. The Semifinal game will be played December 4th (Monday) at 11:00 pm.
When we win that game, we will move on to the championship game on December 10th at 10:00 pm in Oosterban. Upon completion of that contest, we will collect our t-shirts, smile and snap a few photos.
A few notes:
* I’ve scanned and attached the entire bracket system and our roster of eligible players if you’d like to look at our competition (we play the winner of tomorrow’s 10:30 game that will be held at Mitchell field #3)
** I wasn’t crazy about our current passing tree because while it was simple it relied on memorization and didn’t give us many options. I’ve scanned and attached the version that I am used to. This version gives us more routes and is set up in a way that even if you don’t memorize it you know that an even # means IN (odd means OUT) and the larger the number the deeper the route. Slants are a hand signal from QB (hand over heart) and a buttonhook is QB bumping fists together twice. An out and up would be the QB shouting “3” while touching the top of his head. This can be as simple or complicated as you’d like because we can always just huddle before a play if we want to do a double move or something. Take a look and let me know what you guys think.
Finally I have to apologize for only playing in one regular season game, because I was out of town for interviews. But I’ve got the job I want so now it’s all about helpingguide this team to “The Ship” – Cowboy Up boys and let’s go win this damn thing…
DDSprad
-----
If I tried explaining this in CoRec B, no one would have any clue about what I was talking about.
Yeah, it says "Jewish or Redneck". Don't jock our plays, assholes.
IM Playoffs Men's League AA
IM Playoffs CoRec B Novice League (for my Brown Squadron cats)
posted by KTrain at 3:23 AM
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