I'm Flattered, But...

So I've been working out like mad since the schoolyear began and I've gotten into what I think is a good looking shape compared to the 20 pounds heavier I've been the past few years. I figure I don't play football anymore so there's no more reason to maintain weight for the sole purpose of running people over. My goal is to have not necessarily to have a six-pack, but at least something respectable when I go to the Philippines this summer, to impress all the gorgeous caramel-skinned chicas back there. Still, despite the fact I've dropped so much weight and I'm in the best shape of my life, I'm still having difficulty getting the abs cut. I guess I would describe my abs as molded, as I have the very beginnings of a pack, but actually hardening the muscles seem goddamn impossible. I've done countless crunches, gotten the six-second abs machine (which DOES work if you use it right... I'm just not patient enough), worked the incline and decline bench, sometimes with weights on my chest, and also the ab ball as well. I have little to show for all the work I've put in. My arms and legs are getting back to where they were during football, minus the layers of fat, but the stomach is a pain in the ass. Obviously I've been told it's damn hard to work this part of the body, but it's plain old human nature to have a burning desire for instant gratification. I've talked to various people on the subject, the most expert being my buddy Sean Pientak, who is a personal trainer at the JCC, but even he tells me there's no secret; you just have to bust your ass, and the only true way is to dedicate yourself to such a rigorous task. I'm not fortunate to have a natural fast metabolism like a lot of the guys I know who are cut, so I'm gonna have work for this. Still, if anyone has any techniques or such they use, give me a heads up.

More recently than not, I've gotten a lot of random facebook friend requests. Not these vague requests from people I went to high school with and never talked to, no, these are people I've never ever met before. People who see me under "You are connected to 15000 people through friends", and add me without a second thought. You have to realize something people, facebook isn't myspace or friendster. On myspace, I've gotten at least 70 random friend requests, with another 30 or so being from these small independent bands and artists. It's acceptable on myspace to friend random people, because that's what that sort of networking is all about (except for one instance when Brian told me a girl met a guy on myspace and he wound up chopping her body up into little parts and dumping them into the forest). The reason I really don't check myspace is because it's a contest to see who can have the most friends. I've received messages that are obviously pre-fabricated and pasted into the "send" box, only with the name of the sendee changed. They're always messages like, "Oh ur soooo cute, add me on!" which seems to tempt most guys because most of the people on myspace are halfwit dumbshits anyways (most, not all, espcially the people on my friend list). Then you go and look at these peoples' profiles, and you see they have 14327 friends. Please, NO one has that many friends in real life, it doesn't matter how high your social status or bank account is or how big of an entourage you have.

The thing that ticks me off the most about these people is the internet lingo they use on their pages. The acronyms and different ways of spelling words and rearranging letters that really wants me to punch these people in the face. In the study of linguistics they should add to ebonics the study of webtronics, except that in the study of ebonics, you can at least decipher the message without having an anuerism. Shit like "ur" and "lol" and "lmao" and minor stuff like that are straight with me, but when you see an entire web page filled with untranslational jargon, it makes me want to stab my eyes out like Oedipus Rex, though of course my reasons are quite different. Again, these sites are still acceptable because it's myspace, NOT a site limited to those intelligent enough to be in college.

On facebook, the networking is about people you know, people you've met, at random parties or class, or through mutual friends. A certain degree of vagueness is acceptable, but random people should be out of the question. I never used to get any of these, but as time went on I started to get more and more. Sure, a good amount of these requests are from girls, and yeah, some of em are good looking, my age, live in my hometown, and happen to have my major, and yes, I am flattered, and will wind up adding these people to my list, but this still carries with it a sincere degree of weirdness.

Don't do random friend requests on facebook even when you're drunk, and do your part in keeping facebook stalker free. I'd hate to imagine being a cute girl on facebook; the shit must be 100x worse.

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