Jesus Freaks
I'm quickly giving up on having a job for the summer. I figure I might as well just chill out and do absolutely nothing, then just work during the school year. I stay up way late and my average wake up time is anywhere between 2-3, usually the later. I wake up and flip on the TV. I'll be flipping through channels and the show The 700 Club will be on. It's been on for awhile, and is a pro-Christian show that promotes Christianity and its ideals. They also focus on daily lifestyle stuff but usually tie in Christianity with everything. Today I caught the end of the show, apparently a Q&A session with host Pat Robertson, the founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network. I saw two questions, both ridiculous to the point of me getting angry. The first was pretty ordinary, asking if Christians were not supposed to eat pork and/or red meat. Robertson answered that it doesn't necessarily matter; the reason why not only Christians, but all people, were told not to eat pork for a time was because since pigs eat nothing but shit, some of them caught a disease. He also said eating bacon doesn't affect Christians at all, it sure isn't good for you but the phenomenal taste overlooks that.
If you're Christian it shouldn't matter what kind of meat you eat, the exception being during Lent, but I really don't care about that anyways. Judaism and Hinduism have established types of meats they shouldn't eat. Honestly, if you're Christian you shouldn't give a shit about the type of meat you eat, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL IF YOU EAT THE WRONG TYPE OF MEAT. And you shouldn't be afraid of getting Mad Cow or any of those other diseases either. In the words of George Carlin, "Today people are a bunch of fucking pussies. They're afraid of this and that and afraid to eat food. Live a little goddammit." The chances of you catching Mad Cow are pretty slim, and if it significantly affects how you eat you're a fool.
The next idiotic question posed on the 700 Club was some girl asking if God would be angry if she got breast implants. WHY SHOULD GOD GIVE A FUCK IF YOU GET BREAST IMPLANTS??? When Jesus died on the cross, a criminal being crucified beside him was given entrance into heaven because he repented on his sins. I think if you're fine with getting breast implants God will be too. That's one of those questions that defies the statement "there are no stupid questions". Why would God get angry if God was the one who allowed people to create breast implants?
Now, I need to clarify you about my beliefs of my religion. I am a Catholic, the highest "strictness" level of Christianity there is. In my eyes, I'm not a very good Catholic, but I have my reasons. I always despised church and I haven't gone in a few years. The Simpsons describes church in an excellent way. Church could be the most boring thing ever. Bottom line. I'd rather go to school than church, it's that bad. The Father preaches in his monotone voice, bla bla bla this bloo bloo that, telling the same scriptures every year. It's all just a cycle; the Father tells the same stories every year, the same bad jokes, the same shit. Catholic church is very systematic, and at times seems brainwashing. You sit and listen, then kneel and pray, then get up and walk to the front to receive your communion, the "body" and "blood" of Christ, which is usually a wafer of what seems like dissolvable plastic, and either real wine or grape juice. It's terribly boring. Gospel churches are obviously different, with the songs and dancing, but I'm not black so I wouldn't go to those. I usually don't do anything during Lent, if I "give up" something for the 40 days you're supposed to, I give up something like drinking pop or eating candy, something I already do anyways (drinking a can of pop a day leads to a gain of 16 pounds a year. Yeah, it makes a difference). They wind up being New Years' resolutions more than anything, and that's considering I actually do something for Lent. I haven't read the Bible, and I scoff at people who brag they've read the Bible front to back five times. Who brags about how many times they've read the Bible? Seriously!?
I tend to question my religion a lot, because people let it consume their lives a la Ned Flanders. I certainly believe in God as a form of a higher power, because the meaning of life is still unknown and we don't know how we got here. (The Big Bang theory says that particles mixed together and all of a sudden life came out of nowhere. This is the accepted theory of how we came about, but I pose to you a question. Where, oh where, did all those particles come from? Someone answer me that) The thing is though, in the end, religion is a form of control. Not necessarily in a bad way; religion brings the world together and it keeps the peace for the most part, but also disrupts peace, as we've seen by the current Jihad we're faced against.
Let me spell it out for you: I despise Jesus freaks. Sorry if you are one, but I hate em. They think they're better than everyone else because they live every facet of their life according to the Bible. Good for them, but they sure as hell aren't enjoying life as much as the rest of us. Jesus freaks (I'll call them JFs from now on) question many of the actions they do, wondering if they will be sent straight to hell for watching porn or downloading music. Fucking pussies. I believe that as long as you have a good heart and good intentions you'll be fine in the afterlife. You can sin all you want, think all the dirty thoughts you want, and get in as much trouble as you want, God won't care as long as you believe and have faith, and have a decent heart. I searched the 700 Club website for more stupidass JF questions, and here was the most extremist I've ever seen:
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Q.
I’ve been trying to live a holy life. I don’t watch movies, listen to music or read anything but the Bible. My friends think I’m being too religious. They say that it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do because I’m under grace. Am I wrong to live like this? What do you think being holy means?
A.
The word “holy” is dedicated to God. And those who were holy, the holy things were dedicated, and the two terms were interchangeable. And it meant those things which are being consumed in the sacrifice of God. The Bible also says in Ecclesiastes, “Don’t be righteous over much.” There is such a thing as overdoing it, and it does sound like you’re overdoing it. I mean, how can you function in the world if you totally isolate yourself, unless you want to go into monastic order. And there’s some people who do that. They withdraw from the world, and they take a life of contemplation and meditation. But with us, for example, we’re in television, and how can we do appropriate television if we don’t see how it’s done. You have to have contact with the world to learn what’s happening around you and what are the important issues. And I would think if you’re getting revelations from God, if you really are closing into God and God is speaking to you, you’ve got something much more precious than you’ll ever get on watching TV or reading some magazine or book, if that’s your course. But “holy” means set apart to God. That’s what it means. But holiness does not come about from our work and our effort. It comes about from the grace of God, did you receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit, the working of the Holy Spirit, the miracles among you by the works of the Law, the hearing of faith. It’s faith. And faith is believing in the power of God. It’s His grace.
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WHAT A MORON! How does this person even have friends? The guy who answered the question is Pat Robertson, the guy who's the host of the 700 Club. If the creator of the Christian Broadcast Network says you're overdoing it, then boy, you better become a priest. Otherwise there's no reason for you to live. Why live life if you're not really living it? Hm? You're supposed to get into trouble, you're supposed to get bad grades occasionally, you're supposed to do bad things. You're supposed to have your ups and downs, your "gutters and strikes". If it wasn't evident by what Jesus went through, I don't know what is. Jesus went from being from the highest of all highs, then suffered greatly, displaying both extermes of the life spectrum. You can't just stick to what you think is one side, or else you're living a fake life.
Another question posed was whether or not people should pray to God for winning the lottery or other prize stuff. It's not wrong to pray for it, but if you sincerely expect to win because you prayed to God, you should be shot. Why would you want to win a fucking prize when people out there are praying for a crumb of food to eat or for genocide to end?
Another question:
----------
Q.
I’ve always been taught to shut my eyes and bow my head when I pray. My husband doesn’t do this. He actually stands up and walks around when he prays. It’s very distracting to me, so I rarely pray with him. Is there a proper way to pray? Is it necessary for a husband and wife to pray together?
A.
I think, yes, it is. “Where two of you gather together in My name, there I am in the midst.” It’s necessary. But some people love to stand up and pray. In the Old Testament they stood up, they raised their hands. There’s nothing wrong with walking around and praying. God isn’t interested in the posture of your body. He’s interested in the state of your spirit. Your Spirit is what connects with Him. And whether you’re bowed down like a bulrush, as the Bible says, that doesn’t win any brownie points with God. If your husband is really seeking God and he’s walking around praying to the Lord, you just enjoy it and pray with him and don’t get all so uptight about it. It has nothing to do with the posture of your body.
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WHY DOES GOD CARE ABOUT THE WAY YOU SHUT YOUR EYES AND BOW YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU PRAY? This really ticks me off and wants me to kick this woman behind her knees. You're praying to God, and therefore you are showing your belief in God, so IT DOESN'T MATTER. The saying does go, however, "Wherever two people pray, God will be" or something like that. But the fact people believe there is a certain way to pray to God is certainly ludicrous.
I don't even know what else to say... I'm outraged just by writing this and thinking about the amount of idiocy out there. That's enough for now, I better tone down before the Pope orders religious assassins to kill me.
The 700 Club
The 700 Club "Bring it On" - Religious Q&A
If you're Christian it shouldn't matter what kind of meat you eat, the exception being during Lent, but I really don't care about that anyways. Judaism and Hinduism have established types of meats they shouldn't eat. Honestly, if you're Christian you shouldn't give a shit about the type of meat you eat, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL IF YOU EAT THE WRONG TYPE OF MEAT. And you shouldn't be afraid of getting Mad Cow or any of those other diseases either. In the words of George Carlin, "Today people are a bunch of fucking pussies. They're afraid of this and that and afraid to eat food. Live a little goddammit." The chances of you catching Mad Cow are pretty slim, and if it significantly affects how you eat you're a fool.
The next idiotic question posed on the 700 Club was some girl asking if God would be angry if she got breast implants. WHY SHOULD GOD GIVE A FUCK IF YOU GET BREAST IMPLANTS??? When Jesus died on the cross, a criminal being crucified beside him was given entrance into heaven because he repented on his sins. I think if you're fine with getting breast implants God will be too. That's one of those questions that defies the statement "there are no stupid questions". Why would God get angry if God was the one who allowed people to create breast implants?
Now, I need to clarify you about my beliefs of my religion. I am a Catholic, the highest "strictness" level of Christianity there is. In my eyes, I'm not a very good Catholic, but I have my reasons. I always despised church and I haven't gone in a few years. The Simpsons describes church in an excellent way. Church could be the most boring thing ever. Bottom line. I'd rather go to school than church, it's that bad. The Father preaches in his monotone voice, bla bla bla this bloo bloo that, telling the same scriptures every year. It's all just a cycle; the Father tells the same stories every year, the same bad jokes, the same shit. Catholic church is very systematic, and at times seems brainwashing. You sit and listen, then kneel and pray, then get up and walk to the front to receive your communion, the "body" and "blood" of Christ, which is usually a wafer of what seems like dissolvable plastic, and either real wine or grape juice. It's terribly boring. Gospel churches are obviously different, with the songs and dancing, but I'm not black so I wouldn't go to those. I usually don't do anything during Lent, if I "give up" something for the 40 days you're supposed to, I give up something like drinking pop or eating candy, something I already do anyways (drinking a can of pop a day leads to a gain of 16 pounds a year. Yeah, it makes a difference). They wind up being New Years' resolutions more than anything, and that's considering I actually do something for Lent. I haven't read the Bible, and I scoff at people who brag they've read the Bible front to back five times. Who brags about how many times they've read the Bible? Seriously!?
I tend to question my religion a lot, because people let it consume their lives a la Ned Flanders. I certainly believe in God as a form of a higher power, because the meaning of life is still unknown and we don't know how we got here. (The Big Bang theory says that particles mixed together and all of a sudden life came out of nowhere. This is the accepted theory of how we came about, but I pose to you a question. Where, oh where, did all those particles come from? Someone answer me that) The thing is though, in the end, religion is a form of control. Not necessarily in a bad way; religion brings the world together and it keeps the peace for the most part, but also disrupts peace, as we've seen by the current Jihad we're faced against.
Let me spell it out for you: I despise Jesus freaks. Sorry if you are one, but I hate em. They think they're better than everyone else because they live every facet of their life according to the Bible. Good for them, but they sure as hell aren't enjoying life as much as the rest of us. Jesus freaks (I'll call them JFs from now on) question many of the actions they do, wondering if they will be sent straight to hell for watching porn or downloading music. Fucking pussies. I believe that as long as you have a good heart and good intentions you'll be fine in the afterlife. You can sin all you want, think all the dirty thoughts you want, and get in as much trouble as you want, God won't care as long as you believe and have faith, and have a decent heart. I searched the 700 Club website for more stupidass JF questions, and here was the most extremist I've ever seen:
----------
Q.
I’ve been trying to live a holy life. I don’t watch movies, listen to music or read anything but the Bible. My friends think I’m being too religious. They say that it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do because I’m under grace. Am I wrong to live like this? What do you think being holy means?
A.
The word “holy” is dedicated to God. And those who were holy, the holy things were dedicated, and the two terms were interchangeable. And it meant those things which are being consumed in the sacrifice of God. The Bible also says in Ecclesiastes, “Don’t be righteous over much.” There is such a thing as overdoing it, and it does sound like you’re overdoing it. I mean, how can you function in the world if you totally isolate yourself, unless you want to go into monastic order. And there’s some people who do that. They withdraw from the world, and they take a life of contemplation and meditation. But with us, for example, we’re in television, and how can we do appropriate television if we don’t see how it’s done. You have to have contact with the world to learn what’s happening around you and what are the important issues. And I would think if you’re getting revelations from God, if you really are closing into God and God is speaking to you, you’ve got something much more precious than you’ll ever get on watching TV or reading some magazine or book, if that’s your course. But “holy” means set apart to God. That’s what it means. But holiness does not come about from our work and our effort. It comes about from the grace of God, did you receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit, the working of the Holy Spirit, the miracles among you by the works of the Law, the hearing of faith. It’s faith. And faith is believing in the power of God. It’s His grace.
----------
WHAT A MORON! How does this person even have friends? The guy who answered the question is Pat Robertson, the guy who's the host of the 700 Club. If the creator of the Christian Broadcast Network says you're overdoing it, then boy, you better become a priest. Otherwise there's no reason for you to live. Why live life if you're not really living it? Hm? You're supposed to get into trouble, you're supposed to get bad grades occasionally, you're supposed to do bad things. You're supposed to have your ups and downs, your "gutters and strikes". If it wasn't evident by what Jesus went through, I don't know what is. Jesus went from being from the highest of all highs, then suffered greatly, displaying both extermes of the life spectrum. You can't just stick to what you think is one side, or else you're living a fake life.
Another question posed was whether or not people should pray to God for winning the lottery or other prize stuff. It's not wrong to pray for it, but if you sincerely expect to win because you prayed to God, you should be shot. Why would you want to win a fucking prize when people out there are praying for a crumb of food to eat or for genocide to end?
Another question:
----------
Q.
I’ve always been taught to shut my eyes and bow my head when I pray. My husband doesn’t do this. He actually stands up and walks around when he prays. It’s very distracting to me, so I rarely pray with him. Is there a proper way to pray? Is it necessary for a husband and wife to pray together?
A.
I think, yes, it is. “Where two of you gather together in My name, there I am in the midst.” It’s necessary. But some people love to stand up and pray. In the Old Testament they stood up, they raised their hands. There’s nothing wrong with walking around and praying. God isn’t interested in the posture of your body. He’s interested in the state of your spirit. Your Spirit is what connects with Him. And whether you’re bowed down like a bulrush, as the Bible says, that doesn’t win any brownie points with God. If your husband is really seeking God and he’s walking around praying to the Lord, you just enjoy it and pray with him and don’t get all so uptight about it. It has nothing to do with the posture of your body.
----------
WHY DOES GOD CARE ABOUT THE WAY YOU SHUT YOUR EYES AND BOW YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU PRAY? This really ticks me off and wants me to kick this woman behind her knees. You're praying to God, and therefore you are showing your belief in God, so IT DOESN'T MATTER. The saying does go, however, "Wherever two people pray, God will be" or something like that. But the fact people believe there is a certain way to pray to God is certainly ludicrous.
I don't even know what else to say... I'm outraged just by writing this and thinking about the amount of idiocy out there. That's enough for now, I better tone down before the Pope orders religious assassins to kill me.
The 700 Club
The 700 Club "Bring it On" - Religious Q&A
posted by KTrain at 3:08 PM
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